ARE YOU OR YOUR OLDER LOVED ONE WILLING TO PLAN FOR THE LONG-TERM?

David is an 80-year-old man, born in Brooklyn, New York, and the eldest of four children. From high school days in the drama department to earning a scholarship to a college dedicated to the arts, David had always dreamed of a life on stage. He starred in, directed, and choreographed countless performances and even shared the stage with major Hollywood stars.

But like many in creative professions, his acting career was inconsistent. Housing instability followed, and personal challenges mounted. As a young gay man in an unwelcoming era, David faced repeated rejection, denied enlistment in the military due to “homosexual tendencies” and subjected to the “casting couch” in the entertainment industry. At 25, he attempted suicide and was hospitalized. But with the support of his “chosen family,” David found healing, acceptance, and a new path.

He pivoted to culinary arts for stability, eventually becoming a private chef. It was through that journey that he met his life partner, Michael, in 1965. They were married in 2004 following the legalization of same-sex marriage in Massachusetts and eventually retired to Florida.

Their home became a haven, filled with memories, collections of classic films, Playbills, vintage clothing, antiques, and autographed memorabilia. They shared everything, until 2018, when Michael passed away following a fall and hip fracture. David had been his primary caregiver, and after his loss, David spiraled. He withdrew from friends, activities, and the life they had built together.

The COVID-19 pandemic deepened his isolation, and his emotional and physical health began to deteriorate. Eventually, David was hospitalized, with no family nearby, until his cousin Karen, who had always stayed in touch, came to help.

Karen quickly discovered his health care documents were outdated, naming only Michael as his healthcare surrogate and power of attorney. His apartment was uninhabitable, and his doctor advised that David could no longer live independently. Karen moved him into a hotel temporarily while trying to plan.

The Truth About Aging: Planning Isn’t Optional

David’s story is not uncommon. Many older adults, mature, educated, successful people have thought about writing a will or planning financially for retirement, but they delay conversations about what happens when life changes, not if. Often, conversations don’t happen until someone is already in crisis. By then, options are fewer, emotions are high, and the stakes are incredibly real.

So how can you plan for yourself, your client, or your loved one in a meaningful, proactive way?

Start With These Critical Questions:

1. Are you willing to have the conversation about long-term planning, and the role friends or family members will play as you age?

2. What if you don’t have family or close friends to step in? Are you aware there are professionals who can help fill those roles?

3. Have you executed Durable Power of Attorney? If so, have you named more than one person to serve in that role?

4. Have you executed a Health Care Power of Attorney and Living Will that clearly states your preferences for:

• Medical care

• Choice of providers or care managers

• Preferred living arrangements

5. Have you discussed whether you want to age in place? And do you know if it’s financially feasible based on your resources?

6. If you have a spouse or significant other, have you considered what their care might cost and whether you can support them while caring for yourself?

7. Do you have trusted professionals in your corner to help guide you through planning?

• Certified Care Manager

• Estate Planning Attorney

• Elder Law or Special Needs Attorney

• Financial Adviser

The Cost of Inaction

When you don’t plan, someone else must pick up the pieces. Sometimes it’s a family member you haven’t spoken to in years. Sometimes it’s the court system. And almost always, it’s more costly, more stressful, and more complicated than if the plan had been made early, before the crisis.

It’s natural to feel overwhelmed by these decisions but avoiding them won’t make them go away.

Take the First Step

Having a will is not enough. You need a comprehensive long-term care plan that reflects your wishes, anticipates your potential needs, and provides clarity for those who may need to support you down the line.

If you’re unsure where to begin, consider working with an Estate Planning Attorney to lay the legal groundwork, and as needs begin to change, engage a Certified Care Manager who specializes in helping individuals navigate these transitions with clarity and compassion.

Final Thought

David’s story could have ended in a much darker place. But with someone who cared and stepped in, he was able to begin the next chapter. Don’t wait for someone else to come rescue you. Be willing to plan for the long-term, with clarity, dignity, and courage.