UNDERSTANDING DEMENTIA FROM THE INSIDE OUT: A TRUSTED ADVISER'S ROLE

The internet is overflowing with information about dementia, its signs and symptoms, what to do and what to avoid, how to care for someone diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease or Parkinsonian dementia. Books, articles, and pamphlets are dedicated to every angle of the disease, except one: the perspective of the person living with it.

Very little is written about what it feels like to have dementia. What does the world look like through their eyes? How do they process fear, change, and loss of control? And perhaps most importantly, how do we help them have the conversation before it’s too late?

One Woman’s Story

My client is 77 years old. Once a clinical psychologist and a member of the faculty at one of the most prestigious teaching hospitals in the world. She has spent nearly five decades in private practice, helping countless patients manage life’s most difficult challenges, including the emotional toll of dementia.

Now she finds herself in the unfamiliar position of being the patient, coping with a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s-type dementia.

She battles anxiety daily as she struggles to:

• Recall words and phrases

• Maintain familiar routines

• Stay socially engaged

• Keep up with lifelong friendships and professional relationships

• And most distressing of all, remaining in control of her finances

Managing her money has always been a core part of her identity. She regularly requests account statements from her trusted Financial Adviser, a relationship that has spanned many years. This has always been her routine.

One day, I happened to be present when the package of statements arrived. She opened the envelope, scanned the pages, and quickly became anxious. Though the information was once second nature to her, she now struggled to make sense of any of it. Her anxiety escalated.

I sat with her and gently asked, ‘What are you most afraid of?’

She looked at me, eyes filled with grief and quietly said:
‘I’m afraid I won’t be able to manage my money and that people will take advantage of me.’


After a pause, she added: ‘I don’t want people to think I’m crazy.’

Fortunately, protective measures are already in place to prevent exploitation. But because her executive functioning is impaired, she doesn’t always remember that fact or fully understand what those safeguards mean.

Why This Matters

This experience underscores a fundamental truth: To provide meaningful support, we must do more than manage logistics, we must understand the person.

It is essential to imagine what it feels like to be in their shoes. To see what they see. To feel what they feel. For professionals, whether you’re a financial adviser, care manager, attorney, or physician — this is not optional. It is central to your role as a trusted adviser.

Ask Yourself These Questions:

• Are you familiar with the early signs and symptoms of dementia?

• Do you know how to communicate with a client experiencing cognitive decline or loss of executive function?

• Have you asked your clients if they wish to age in place or are open to transitioning to Independent or Assisted Living?

• Have you ever discussed what would happen if they were diagnosed with dementia?

• Do you know how your client feels about losing control, or being perceived as incapable?

Chances are, no client will walk into your office and voluntarily bring up these fears. It’s up to you to create a space where these concerns can surface and be addressed with care, discretion, and compassion.

The Key Takeaway

Effective support for clients with dementia begins long before diagnosis. It begins with listening, observing, and asking the right questions. It requires empathy as much as expertise, and a deep commitment to preserving your client’s dignity, autonomy, and peace of mind.

Being a trusted adviser means being ready, not just to manage their affairs, but to walk alongside them as their world changes.